Day 4, over half-way there!
Puzzle pieces and fragments. There are days when I look at my life and this is all I see. Though some the pieces are colorful and lovely, the more I look at them, the less sense they seem to make. Why Lord? God, sometimes I just don't understand why my life is the way it is. I adore the life I have been given. I love every piece of it, but that's just the thing; while I like most of the pieces (while there are those also which I despise and which frustrate me), I don't always see how they fit together to make a whole.
I don't understand why I am constantly plagued with thoughts too big and even too deep to fully wrap my mind around, yet I try to comprehend them only further frustrating myself. I don't get why I sometimes have to fight back monsters that I have already defeated. I don't understand why I am quirky and often say the wrong thing. I don't always understand why God lays certain burdens upon my heart that I can never shake. I don't understand why God makes me wait...and wait...and when I finally think I'm done waiting, to wait still a little longer.
I always want all the little puzzle pieces to magically zoom to their places so I can finally make sense of things. I know that the big picture that God created my life to look like is beautiful and masterfully designed. I understand that when I get to view it in its fullness and grandeur that I will loose my words, and even my breath, at the sight of what my King has created and woven together. Sadly, I often don't see the big picture. The truth is, most of the time, none of us do.
It causes me to think of the disciples. Though Jesus had again and again told them of his death and resurrection, they still did not understand it. Yet after Jesus had risen and came to them once more, Luke 24:45 tells us that "he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures." He then went on to explain the Father's plan. Jesus is the one who makes the puzzle make sense.
Though I often don't understand the specifics of my life or the questions that seem to steal my peace, I find the key to my puzzled mind in Christ. Though I may not know who I will marry, where I will live, or could write out exactly the plot line of my life for the next 50 years, I know who my God is and what He is capable of. I know that He is my source and the One who knows the beginning from the end. It is during times such as these I treasure the pieces I am given, understand that I may not understand them, then cast my gaze upon the only One who does. The One who made the puzzle from the beginning with every delicate brushstroke.
Pensive and Puzzled.
