When I was a small child, my mom put me in swimming lessons. From a very young age, I remember kicking and paddling along in pools. I remember diving for rubber sticks and learning to hold my breath. I loved being in the water. But there was one thing I greatly feared.
BACKFLOATING.
It was simply terrifying. I could swim like crazy and dive, holding my breath for long periods of time, but just sitting still, unsupported in water made my mind go insane. I remember my parents or instructors holding my back up, and then they would do it. They would let go. I kidd you not, every time I immediately paniced and sunk. I was crippled by fear at the very thought of backfloating.
It was simply terrifying. I could swim like crazy and dive, holding my breath for long periods of time, but just sitting still, unsupported in water made my mind go insane. I remember my parents or instructors holding my back up, and then they would do it. They would let go. I kidd you not, every time I immediately paniced and sunk. I was crippled by fear at the very thought of backfloating.
So why did I tell this ridiculous little story from my past? Well you see, God has been using it to reveal something to me lately. I am the type of person who likes to know 'the plan' at all
times. I like to know exactly what is going on, who is doing it, where and when, etc. Now I know that God has big plans and purposes for my life as well. So, naturally, I want to make sure I know what is going on.
times. I like to know exactly what is going on, who is doing it, where and when, etc. Now I know that God has big plans and purposes for my life as well. So, naturally, I want to make sure I know what is going on.That being said, I should also inform you that I like back-up plans. Plan B is what I do best. I like having somewhere to go when it seems like I have no where else to turn. Yet God is kinda different. God has been telling me that I don't need a Plan B. He's been saying that Plan A is much too big, and therefore there is no room left for my own agendas.
Just like I felt confident with my swimming, so I also feel confident in the gifts and abilities God has given to me. Yet at times it seems easy to fall back on those abilities so that I no longer have to trust God. But that's the point that I have to learn to backfloat. I have to learn to sit still, let God do His work in me and not struggle, trusting that He will be my support system.
I was really pondering this the other day as I read in Isaiah. I read about God telling the people not to follow their own agendas, going on without His help or direction and I immediately related. Just a few chapters later, in Isaiah 33:6 it reads, "and He (God) will be the stability of your times, abundance of salvation, knowledge and wisdom..." and in verse 16 speaking of the righteous man, "his bread will be given to him, his water will be sure." God began to show me that He is my stability and that I have no need to fear the future. I dont need to make backup plans because His original plan is not only far better, but is going to work out according to His will. God's plans are so unbelievably fantastic that our wildested plan B's could never hope to replace them.
Finally, as I am meditating on these things, God tells me to turn to Matthew 14. There to my amazement, I find the story of Peter being called out of the boat to walk on water with Christ. Peter, when full of faith, could walk perfectly upon the waves. Yet, when He tried to rely on his own strength and compared that with the wild wind and churning sea, he fell short. When we put our focus on Christ, all of life's most brutal storms will not be able to knock us off course.
God is so good. Sometimes its so easy to, in our pursuit of our destiny, to try to fulfill our destiny alone. Yet that is what is so tricky about the formation process. God wants us to learn to rely on Him. I once heard it said, "If the dreams of your heart can be accomplished on your own, apart from God, then they arent of God." God's dreams for us will always surpass our own imaginations. Yet when we learn to just let God take the reigns, when we learn to backfloat, life's troubling waters become gentle. In God's hands, that's where our heart, our minds, worries, cares and fears must lay still.
