Today I sit pensive, pondering my life. As I look towards what's passed, I see times I have fallen, friendships I have lost, hurts that were made, scars that have healed. I see times of triumph, of laughter, of stuggle, of pain. I see plans that have been re-routed while others thave stayed their course. I have regretted my falters and stumblings, but never the lessons they carry. I look with fondness at the times of joy, ready for more to come.
I turn my gaze to the present. Today the sun peeks its face from behind whispy clouds and the spring air is fresh in my lungs. Yet "today" is made up of far more than the weather forecast. Today sits across the table from me. His eyes stare me square in the face as he s
miles, beckoning me to action. The present, as it is, is beautiful. Beautiful does not mean perfect however. Beauty as I have found it, is often found in imperfection. Beauty does come in times of loveliness and laughter, but also with times of ugly, bitter pain.
miles, beckoning me to action. The present, as it is, is beautiful. Beautiful does not mean perfect however. Beauty as I have found it, is often found in imperfection. Beauty does come in times of loveliness and laughter, but also with times of ugly, bitter pain. Currently, I feel pressed. More pressed than I have ever felt most of my life. Anxiety is here, knocking sharply at my doorstep. Worry, his companion, is jumping at his chance. As I look towards the future and the course it will take, mixed emotions roll around in my stomach. As I lift my eyes to the path that is my future, I watch as it curves behind a hillside and neatly tucks itself behind a mountain beyond my view. While I can look with crystal clarity a the road that I have tred, my gaze cannot rest on the fullness of the journey that is yet to come. Do I have what it takes to to tred these mountains? Will all my strength and preparation be enough? My heart becomes heavy with these questions. Inadeqecy pulls from all directions and I nearly collapse from the weight. My heart cries out, for I fear not for what lies around the corner, but if all of me will even be enough to carry it, let alone walk in it. My eyes are closed, my fists clenched tight, a reflection of my heart.
My eyes are pulled above me, around me. "My grace is made sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9).
The words of my Father surround me, hold me, comfort me, fill me. I rest in the peaceful knowledge that while I am not enough, I am carried by the One who is. While questions press at my heart, questions of life, marriage, ability, and my own sufficency, I can let my tired heart lay still in the arms of God. No, I cannot see what tomorrow holds nor will I ever be enough to hold it all. But as for today, I can set my gaze forward, take the ground that is before me, and steady my nervous heart. God's power is made perfect in my weakness. I look at my life walking with my God and its beautiful. I stand imperfect, flawed, tired, weak and unable. It is beautiful because in my imperfection, God is perfect in power. The same God who walked with me through my past, the One who made the sun shine this morning, and the One who speaks these words straight to my heart is leading me on. My God is great, and the journey is crafted beautifully by Him.
Thank you Lord for being my sufficency. Your ways are perfect and Your plans are good. I love you my God and entrust my life completely to You today and everyday forward.
