"When my heart is overwhelmed, and I cannot hear your voice, I'll hold on to what is true, though I cannot see...staying desperate for you God, staying humbled at your feet, I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe."
Lord, this is often how I feel. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I can't hear you, like I can't see - but this is where I must hold to what is true - your Word is true God, it will surely come to pass. Lord, I want to stay desperate for you. I want my eyes locked on you, my heart holding fast to your truth, your word. This is where I choose to set my heart Lord.
I don't like feeling desperate, yet I want to be desperate for you. I don't like the discomfort that thirst brings, but I want to be thirsty for you. Lord, never let me get so callused, so numb that I no longer long nor feeling longing for you. Here is where I find a difference between comfort and peace. Comfort is easy-going, relaxed and comfortable. I do not wish for comfort. Peace however is being able to feel steady and secure, or at least to know that I am even when the storm is at its worst. Peace happens even in the midst of chaos. Comfort will flee in the presence of pain, yet it is peace that braves the wind and waves.
Though thirst and desperation are uncomfortable, the God of peace I seek with a thirsty spirit and a desperate heart. Lord, I hold tightly to your word. I know your promises are good and that you are faithful. I am desperate for you. This is the honest cry of my heart. I want You God, even if it means discomfort. I choose your Word, your promises, holding on even when comfort calls to let go. My trust is in you. Thank you Lord for all your promises.
Your face alone will I seek.
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me a grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
- A. W. Tozer
Thirsty.
